Wednesday, July 14, 2010

A little about me finding my New Normal

I don't really remember where I heard the phrase---A New Normal. I just remember thinking how am I ever going to feel normal again. I soon found out, the normal I once experienced would never again be a part of my life.

My life was forever changed on October 1, 2006. That was the day my son shot himself. He was 24 years old. He had been suffering from depression, a depression that started when he was 13, around the time his dad and I were divorced. Through his teens I took him to different doctors and psychologists. They spent time listening to him, put him on various medicines for the depression and said he was coming along. He took the medicine sporadically, told them what they wanted to hear and suffered silently in his mind. Until that fateful day when it all became to much and he found permanent relief the only way he knew how. He lost all hope, all hope that tomorrow would be a better day.

His last note to me was short---"This is my way. I love you mom". Not much more than that.

It was his way to find peace and it plunged me into my own private hell.
I went into my own depression that lasted three years and only recently have I been able to find my New Normal. With this blog I will be sharing more about my journey to find my new normal. 

Can I help you find your New Normal?

If you have been affected by the loss of a loved one, if you have seen your world come to a crashing halt because of death, if you have had a hard time relating to friends that have lost a loved one---then this blog might be what you need. Join me on a journey to a better understanding of grief, death and how you can survive the loss of a loved one.


  1. husband did not complete his suicide, but he tried many i know the pain and frustration of living with a depressed soul...i also know how you can be brought down with them...i am sending healing energy to you...hugs, Rebecca

  2. Hi, Annette --

    First of all, congratulations on the launch of your BLOG!!!!! I am so excited for you. This online sharing space will be a part of your new normal and the new normal of many of your readers who are going through the things you're sharing about.

    Like Rebecca above, I, too, have lived through the depression of a close family member. This person made one suicide attempt, which fortunately, was unsuccessful.

    I'm looking forward to what you share to help others who have lost a loved one through suicide. I admire people who can go through a terrible experience like that and come out on the other side to share love, wisdom, and comfort. And you're right: we need to feel the freedom to talk more about how we deal with grief.

    I'm wondering -- did you experience good support from friends and family after Ben's death?

    Much encouragement to you in this journey, Annette!

    -- Abby

  3. Rebecca---Thank you so much for sharing with me and for sending me good energy. I know there are many out there who need this blog and hope to be helpful. God Bless

    Abby---A big thanks goes out to you. I achieved this goal by the inspiration/knowledge I found reading your web-site/blog. I will be writing more about the support I received in the future but for now I can tell you I found out who my true friends were after Ben died. My family was just as devastated so it's been hard for us to verbalize the pain. We still don't talk about it much. It's just a hard thing to comprehend.
    Thanks for all your support.


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