Saturday, May 2, 2015

Nine years of grief lessons!

It has been quite awhile since I posted here. I was thinking it is time to start again and share what I have learned in the nine years since Ben passed away. Many things have                               My son Ben
changed and many have stayed the same but I have learned how to restart and find that new normal.

I thought there were stages of grief but learned that is just crap. Grief is ongoing and how you deal with it changes daily. Nine years later and sometimes I still can't believe Ben in gone, I get mad that he killed himself, I question everything and wonder if I could have changed things, And from time to time I plunge back into depression. I am able to move quicker through all of this but accepting what is, is not happening. I am use to what happened, I understand that it happened and there is nothing I can do about it but accept it? That is not happening. I don't accept it and don't want to accept it. But I do go on and live.

If you lost your loved one a month ago, five months ago, two years ago, eight years ago, twenty years ago, and you wonder if you will ever get over it just be assured that you won't and this is perfectly normal. You will be able in time to go on. But you will have those days when the grief will arise within you and you will feel like you can't bear it, like you did when you first suffered your loss. Remember you are normal and it's ok to cry, it's ok to be mad, it's ok to bargain with God. Your going to be ok and your going to keep going and yes life will never be the same, you will never be the same, but you will keep going.

Grief is an amazing teacher. I feel like it has made me a better person, I see what is really important now. I work daily to be a better person than the day before. Many days I fail but I keep on trying. Never giving up.

We who have suffered great loss live with a knowledge that many don't have. We have a quiet understanding that life is fleeting. Life is temporary. Life is a precious gift.  Taking this journey together lightens the load. Here on my blog we can share our thoughts, feelings and stories on survival after the loss of our loved one's. Together we can help ourselves and others gain understanding and knowledge on surviving. Please share your feelings and share my blog with your family, friends, Facebook page. Someone out there may need it. You just never know what daily battles people are facing.

As always Peace & Love to all,