too busy to notice!

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As the anniversary of Ben's death comes close, I find myself so busy I don't know which way to turn. JB Dollar, my job that pays some of the bills has just introduced two new products and wow is it ever exciting. Hat's need to be sent out to three locations, listed on Etsy and E-bay. Orders for crochet items need to be made. Halloween jewelry and OMG the list goes on and on. I wonder If God is giving me all of this so I can focus on other things. Today on the way home from the craft store (looking for Halloween charms for the jewelry) I started thinking about Ben and how much he loved Halloween. I cried.  It was the one holiday his dad was into and we all enjoyed it together. I loved making his and Keri's costumes. My favorite was the year Keri was Tinker Bell and he was a pirate, AKA Captain Hook. Keri had a store bought costume but we made Ben's and it was cool. Another year he was a the hunchback of Notre Dame. Of course, when he was little he was Batman and Superman. Keri was bat girl one year. Never any clowns. We didn't like clowns. Even as an adult Ben was scared of clowns. Makes me laugh thinking about it but every time I see a clown it reminds me of him. And sometimes I laugh and cry at the same time.


I use to love fall. Now, I dread it's beginning because it reminds
me of that fateful day when we lost Ben. Four years, "doesn't it go by in a blink". That quote is from Anthony Hopkins character in the movie Meet Joe Black. As death is waiting for him at his 65th birthday he is speaking to the guests and closes with this---"65 years, doesn't it go by in a blink". I had watched that movie a few times before but recently when I heard him say that it made me think how precious little time we really do have. Life truly is fleeting.


As the fourth anniversary of Ben's death approaches I reflect on his short life. He touched many people in his 24 years. He was a good friend, son and brother. He would bend over backwards to help you if you were in need. Generous to a fault and loyal. Of course there were problems but this post is not about them. This is about my memories of fall and the fun times we spent planning a favorite celebration. How God is giving me so much to focus on right now that I am not dwelling on October first. And the fact that life is short, so we should remember to live each day to the fullest, become more than we ever thought we could be and love the ones closest to us with reckless abandon. 


Peace and Love,
Annette