Hey God, where are you, are you listening?

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Do you sometime ask God where he is, is he listening? When you lose someone close to you it is very easy to also lose your faith. LIFE IS HARD! Really it is. It's not a picnic for alot of us. I often wonder how some people get so lucky to never have anything challenging happen to them. How does that happen? They go through life and things just seem to fall into place just right. I know everything is not always as it seems but for the most part there are some people out there that have it all together. Life is one big party with good things all around. I guess being through the ringer has it's advantages. Like the fact that not much shocks me anymore. Stuff happens and I just go with the flow. I hardly ever get angry. I accept the things that come my way. Hoping and praying that I can make it through the challenges and have the strength to handle them. Yes, I'm jaded, I'm hardened and I am sometimes untouchable. But I am still human. In spite of  it all I am surviving. A survivor. A warrior in the face of adversity.

I wonder about the survivors of 9/11. I wonder how they go on each day after the horror that they experienced. The loss was so great, so unfair, so sudden. How do they do it? I wonder about our Amish friend whose brother lost three small children last year in a buggy accident. He along with his whole family are having a hard time, and of course that is to be expected.. He and his wife are expecting another child in a few weeks. David, his brother hopes it will help a little. A new child will not make up for the loss of the others but maybe it's God's way of helping them cope with the loss. I wonder about the man who hit the buggy and took the life of three innocent children. How does he get through the day? I can't even imagine what he must go through. 

When you ask God where he is, know that he is everywhere. He is with us daily and that is how we make it through. When bad things happen I always remember "It can always be worse"! And then I say a prayer for others who are going through a tough time. I ask God to watch over anyone in need right now. He knows who they are. I kept my faith through it all and never asked why me? I just kept going. That's what we have to do---just keep going! 

It's up to you who you believe in. I choose to believe in a higher power and call him God. I believe in faith and the power of prayer. I have seen it working in my life more than once. How about you? Has God touched your life lately?  Has your faith helped you through a tough time? Share your thoughts with me in the comments below. And remember, you are not alone. We will get through this together.

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My loss is bigger than YOUR loss!

Image by TheBusyBrain via Flickr

Can we compare our loss with someone else's? Some people I talk to seem to discount my loss and make theirs the focus. "How do you think I feel? You don't know what I went through? My life will never be the same!" All of those statements are true but different for each and every one of us. These are some of the things I have heard when speaking to others about losing my son. It saddens me to think that others have to make their loss seem more than mine. No matter what the loss is we all still suffered and there is no way to compare because each of us is different. One person I know made it seem like a popularity contest. She made me feel like she was saying "my loss was bigger than yours, "nananananana". And she did have a traumatic experience, I don't want to discount that, but what makes her think her loss was more than anyone elses'. What the heck is wrong with this picture?

Do we live in such a self absorbed world that we have to compare the tragedies in our lives to feel like we are something or someone? Is it right to make ourselves feel better by discounting another persons loss. Death is non comparable. IT IS a great equalizer. It changes us forever, and makes us different. And sadly, it links us.  To compare one loss to another is a sad way of making yourself feel better. When you are faced with a friend who does this, what do you do? How do you respond. I stopped talking, listened, and then made a mental note to not discuss my son with her again. The thing is, we are all unique, we all matter. And what happens to us is what makes us who we are. We are uncomparable, as is the things we go through, including death.

As I travel this journey of healing, I am becoming more compassionate and understanding. I am learning to listen more and talk less. I am learning to forgive myself and others.  And I will remain uncomparable for the rest of my life. How about you?

If you want to join me on this journey just scroll over to the right and subscribe to my blog. If you know someone who might need help dealing with their grief please share my blog with them.