When I look back now on losing my son I feel a profound sadness. Sadness at the loss of such a special, loving, bright young man. Sadness that I will not see him grow up completely with a career and family of his own. I don't dwell on the sadness any longer but it is still there and will always be there. Some days it engulfs me but not as many as before. I function now, I work, I cook and clean and do everything I did before that fateful day in October. I miss him daily and think about him every day. But I move forward and know that is what I have to do. But the sadness is still there lying ever so slightly beneath the surface. I wonder if he is watching down over me. Sometimes I get a sign or two that let me know he is around. I hope they are not coincidences. I pray he is at peace and in God's heaven. I pray he will be waiting for me when it's my time to leave earth. I pray God keeps me strong enough each day to keep moving forward and living the life I was ment to live. It has been almost 6-1/2 years since the day my new life began. That is how I think about it, the day my new normal began. I can tell anyone out there grieving that you will get use to your new normal. It will take time and how long it takes is not the same for each of us. Take all the time you need. You will know when you are ready to move forward. So I may not blog here much anymore because the hurt is healing. And that is a good thing. If anyone needs to talk I am always an email away and will be here to help anyone needing support. Peace & Love to all, Annette

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