Today I realized we are less than a month away from October 1st. That has been a dreaded day for me these past six years and now going on seven. But today I also realized that I have not been thinking about it or dwelling on it like past years. That date is the day my son Ben made the fateful decision to take his life changing mine and all the lives close to him. Our lives have changed in ways we never thought they would. We are hardened and softened at the same time. All of us in different ways. We are a family with a hole that will never be filled. Recently we suffered another loss. The loss of my stepsons mom. Watching them go through the grieving process is hard. They want to feel better now, not realizing that it will take time, months, years to find a new normal without their mom. Their loss, my loss, your loss will never go away. Grief takes time. It's not a get over it already kind of thing. Now almost seven years later I am able to look at October 1st and not cringe that it is almost here. I will always grieve for Ben, I will always remember that day but along with the grieving and remembering I will be healing. Taking it one day at a time for the rest of my life.
September is suicide awareness month. Did you know that up to 2009 car crashes were the leading cause of death by accident but in 2009 suicide became the leading cause of death by accident. That is such a sad statistic. Mental health has been so overlooked. It is time for a change. Let's all do something this month to help make that change. Help a friend who is suffering, donate your time or $$'s, attend a prevention walk. Take action now and maybe we can help prevent another family from going through the pain of the suicide of a loved one.
Peace,
Annette
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It seems surreal that it will be 7 years... what a journey it has been for you and all of your family. I always feel that being Keri's and your friend during the loss of her dad and Ben, somehow was preparing me for the grief I was soon to face when I lost my dad. I am sad that all of us have suffered losses and while losing my dad has been awful, I somehow know that losing your child would be worse and my heart aches at the mere thought of what your past 7 years have been like. Thanks for being there with your wisdom and friendship... your care and insight has helped me greatly.
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